It’s Homecoming week, which means that it’s time to once again take part in the age-old USU tradition of publicly kissing someone that you just met on tinder. It’s a magical night, full of nervously armpit sweating through a three layers of clothing and awkward conversations that start with “wouldn’t it be crazy if you and me got up there. . .”

It can be one of your best experiences at USU, But if you don’t do it right, your night can turn out disastrous. Don’t worry though, Aggie Radio is here to help you with a handy guide to surviving True Aggie Night.

The “A” prepares to be the center of attention

1. Make plans

True Aggie Night can be a magical experience. . . If you are prepared. You should go in with a game plan (and no, showing up with a sign that says “free kisses” is not a game plan). Plan ahead of time who you are going to kiss, where you will meet, and who is bringing the Chapstick. Don’t show up at 11:59 hoping to find someone to kiss because the only people that will be available are the weirdos and creeps. Also, having the excuse that you are meeting someone will help you avoid unwanted advances and will ensure that you accomplish your goal of gaining USU’s most illustrious title; True Aggie.

2. Don’t get fancy:

When it comes to the actual kiss, simplicity is key. Don’t think that you are going to parkour onto the “A,” pull up your partner with a one hand, do a kiss while you air guitar the solo from “Sweet Child of Mine” and then round it all out with a backflip. You will look like an idiot, and Guns N’ Roses is overrated anyway. Just be like everyone else: Walk up the stairs, do the kiss or whatever, and get down. Don’t dip. Don’t dance. The “A” is a lot smaller than you think it is, and no matter how many times you have rehearsed your supposedly crowd-pleasing routine, there is always a chance that you could fall.

“This stunt resulted in multiple fractures and a lot of embarrassment”

3. Don’t get gratuitous:

Nobody wants to see you “get nasty” on True Aggie Night, we see plenty of that at the Howl and the 80’s Dance. Be respectful of the tradition of True Aggie Night by not making out, grinding, or groping. Nobody, not even the previously mentioned creeps and weirdos, want to see any kind of “performance.”

Follow the example of these snowmen

4. Chapstick. Seriously, I can’t stress this enough:

Your lips will get chapped. True Aggie Night takes place late a night. It’s cold. The idea of kissing will have you stressed out about lip moisture and that only adds to the chapping. Remember to “chap up” before the event and at regular intervals during the night.

5. When in doubt, seek a DJ:

Aggie Radio will be at True Aggie Night playing music and conducting interviews. If you need any help, we will do our best to make your night better. Whether you want to hang out and pretend like you are part of the sound crew to avoid embarrassment or escape someone specific, or you want to kiss someone so bad that you don’t even mind if that person is a DJ, we got your back.