Sunday – this day of the week can mean a few different things. It could mean you are about to spend your entire day in dress clothes, attending various meetings. It could also mean you are about to go clock in for that eight hour shift, since Sunday is your only available day to work. Or, Sunday could mean that you are about to watch as much football as you possibly can, all while bro-ing out with your friends. Depending on what degree of fan you are, you could be doing any, or all, of these things with your Sunday.
These are the five degrees of a football fan, and things to help you classify your friends, random people, and even yourself.
1. The “what is football?” fan.
This person has never sat through an entire football game. Chances are, they forgot the sport even existed for a while, there. Catching them watching football is more rare than a holographic Charizard, and equal in value, since you will probably be laughing as they shout “goal!” after every touchdown, as well as constantly ask why the refs always fell the need to throw yellow towels into the air.
Favorite team: the blue guys.
2. The “every so often” fan.
Since football is only on a few days a week, this person tends to forget about the games until it is too late. This type of fan can name six different teams in the NFL, but always seems to have a hard time matching up the cities to the team name. They can say that they have purposely sat through an entire game of football multiple times, but only because there were chicken wings and beer involved.
Favorite team: The Miami Steelers.
3. The “bandwagon” fan.
As the old saying goes, “nobody likes a bandwagon”. This person watches enough football highlights to know who is good and who isn’t. On Sundays, the bandwagon can be found at Buffalo Wild Wings, half-heartedly rooting for the team that was given the better odds of winning in the pre-game show. They are often found saying things like “he has been my favorite player for years!”, “they won it all last year, I can’t wait to see them do it again”, and “I may have bought this hat yesterday, but it’s not just because they won”.
Favorite team: Whoever won the Super Bowl the year before.
4. The “family heirloom” fan.
This person has been raised in the world of football, and because of this, loves the sport.They almost always find themselves being huge fans of the team their dad loves, since their childhood bedroom basically looks like an extension of the retail store Fanzz, but all of the merchandise is from one specific team. You had no chance in picking any other team, since this team has been burned into your psyche. They are often heard saying things like “my dad loved them, so naturally, I do as well”, and “they went to the Super Bowl in ’78. They are due for another one.”
Favorite team: The same team that is printed on the footy pajamas from when they were three years old.
5. The “die hard” fan.
This person considers every Sunday a holiday, and celebrates in front of their 60″ Vizio plasma screen all day long. NFL Ticket, Redzone package, NFL Network – all of them at their disposal. Watching football games isn’t just about rooting for their team anymore, either. Their fantasy football players all need to perform well, so stat tracking has become an obsession. Rushing yards from AP last week? Passing yards from Cam Newton? Match-ups? This person knows it all. That being said, watch what you say around them. Unless you are equipped with your Marty Mcfly Sports Almanac, this person will debate you on any point you try to make when it comes to the gridiron.
Favorite team: The Denver Broncos.
Okay, maybe the last person isn’t ALWAYS a Broncos fan, but one can always hope…
