In the overly saturated and muddled world of communication today, people have chosen to create and use new, but ridiculous, “words” in everyday life and conversation. For example, if you were to hesitate on doing something “extreme”, someone might say to you, “Yolo, bruh!” …this is deeply saddening to me; because neither “yolo” nor “bruh” are actual words. In fact, “yolo” is an apparent acronym for “You Only Live Once”. I feel true and deep sorrow for the poor saps who believe that this acronym merits cause to do the unbelievable, unthinkable, and just plain stupid things that a person may do.

Recently, the Oxford English Dictionary added the words “twerk” and “selfie”. Yes, a professionally published and internationally credited dictionary added the words… TWERK and SELFIE. This is the most ludicrous and despairing news I’ve heard in a long time, next to Joe Biden dropping the “F” bomb on live national television, and the cancellation of the Nickelodeon TV show “Invader Zim”.

Hold your heads up high, grammar police; because today, you are my last hope. The unfortunate truth is, while social media persists and continues to grow, these words will fill our heads and absorb what intelligent thoughts we may have left. Please, for the sake of our children, and our children’s children, stop using words that aren’t real words. I say down with “yolo”, down with “twerk”, and down with “selfie”.

Thank you, society, you have disappointed me, yet again. Next thing you know, celebrities will be spitting on their fans, violence will run rampant on the streets, and Congress won’t pass a bill to allow the U.S. to produce more oil, therefore helping our economy! Oh, wait…

If I had a nickel (see what I did there?) for every time I found myself in a state of inner rage over the fact that someone has used the words “swag” and “yolo” in the same sentence, I would most likely be able to buy Microsoft, sell it, buy Apple, sell that, and then buy both Microsoft and Apple, as well as every professional sports team in the western world. It’s just inexcusable. What’s with the word, “swole”, too? It’s the strangest way I’ve heard anyone talk about their experience with weight lifting. I just don’t see what makes a human being say that, unless they have been raised without any preexisting knowledge of proper grammar.

Here is a prime example of a sentence that would cause me to be filled with The Incredible Hulk-like rage.

“Sup, bruh? Ready to go look swag at the gym and get swole? I mean, I’m kinda sore but yolo, right?”

I’m sorry, now I’m just probably making you feel uncomfortable or like you can’t really say anything around me… which is only true if you are going to say something that uses the words that I have previously mentioned.

All I ask is that we, as a society, just stop using these ridiculous words and save ourselves from never ending despair and bad grammar.