The Diatribe
“Get Off the Stage”
By Justin Peterson (Weird Sense)
You’re informed that you and your group will be going third in the set rotation during the show. The first band takes the stage and hands the resident DJ a cd consisting of their song. Nothing out of the ordinary yet, until the cd proves to hold a horrendously produced track that the incredibly offbeat performers attempt to stumble through. You cringe and think if possibly there is enough tequila to keep the amazing brunette you met in Anthropology 2100 from leaving. Unfortunately, by the 5th track of generic beats and forgotten lyrics she has gotten a “headache” and asks when the next time you will be doing a show is. The “headache” seems to be contagious by the second act consisting of a group almost identical in skill level, because over half the audience has left the stage area and a small percentage of that the club all together. These unskilled, talentless, verminous human beings are driving away audiences in droves, and it happens way too often. Why?
Don’t get me wrong. I understand that people need a place to practice and get better, and that place exists. It’s called an open mic. They have them in every town in every state I promise you. Sometimes you will have to go to a library, or school, or some obscure place, but they exist. This is where you need to be fishing for food to feed your ego when you first start out. This is where you work on memorizing your lyrics or test your ability to be on beat. This is where you start…well one of ‘em. Parties are a great place to start a cypher and get the attention from people that may be able to talk to you about shows based on your talent. Being approached is a great way to know you are ready for the transition to booked acts. But this isn’t only the fault of over egotistical and under seasoned rappers. There are others…
Promoters! What are you thinking booking these ridiculous acts that I can only assume are somehow related to you in some obscure way shape or form? This hurts YOU as well as the entire live music scene when you let these auditory rapists into our mists and on your stages. Have some dignity and discrepancy when booking opening acts for the love of Anna Kendrick! This will keep people coming back for more, not running to their domiciles for refuge from sodomizing sounds of stupid.
This is just my personal rant…a diatribe of sorts…
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The Diatribe!!!
