Pickle fries were reinstated as a feature side dish at the Hub on Friday, November 7. Students are rejoicing at the result of the campaign to reinstate the valued “a la carte” item.
Several students reportedly had asthma attacks upon hearing that pickle fries had returned, and they were sent to a local health facility. They were released this afternoon and encouraged to avoid emotional extremities for a month.
“I had never experienced so intense a joy that was followed by such acute pain and breathing difficulty,” one asthma-attack victim said. “It was incredible.”
Look at that glorious side dish.
Pickle fry sales were higher than ever on Friday – the dining staff were barely able to manage the commotion surrounding the famed dish. One worker, Anna Graham, expressed some concern.
“The pickle fries are a big deal – I get it. But I think some people were a little too excited about it,” she said.
Her co-worker disagrees. “When it comes to pickle fries, there’s no such thing as an overreaction. Pickle fries embody all that is good in the world, and should be worshiped,” said Bill Loney, another member of the Hub dining staff.
We were able to track down Dick Wixom, the disgruntled passerby who we interviewed when we opened this story. He had this to say: “After Pickle-gate, which happened when I was in college, I became increasingly inspired by journalism as a way to change the world. It sounds corny, but to wake the public up, to serve a higher cause.”
Students are quite pleased with the result of their efforts to reinstate pickle fries. They are now available in the Hub, which is open Monday-Thursday 7:00-9:00, Friday 7:00-5:30, and Saturday 9:00-3:00. Mention this article and you will appear informed.
Update: The future Mr. and Mrs. McDonald have set a date for their wedding, which will be held in the Skyroom. Pickle Fries will be served. Friends of USU, Dining Services staff, and all pickle-lovers are invited to attend. For more details, contact the happy couple at fans.of.pickle.fries@gmail.com. They will send you an invitation to the ceremony.
