UNIVERSITY OF UTAH 8/10
Established February 29th, 1850, U of U is only 41 years old. Ah, to be young. Their colors are Blood Red and Off White, this being that you must make a Blood Sacrifice and swear your allegiance to the school if you go there. That tradition seems a bit… Off. U of U fans be cray!
Pros: Urban City Vibe
Cons: Urban City Vibe
BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY 4/10
It is well-known that Brigham Young University was established April 6, 1830, by a young Joseph Smith. Are you a return missionary for the LDS church? Do you want to get married in under three months? Do you hate having fun? If you answered “No” to any or all of these then BYU is not for you.
Pros: Their ice cream is okay.
Cons: “Your shorts are too short.” and “That Coke better be caffeine free!”
UTAH VALLEY UNIVERSITY 6/10
UVU’s motto is: “Ugh, more BYU students crashing our party.” There is nothing wrong with Utah Valley. In fact, they have some pretty good programs going on down there. The real problem is all of the BYU students trying to get “cray.” No UVU student can go anywhere without a BYU snob trying to be superior. Don’t blame UVU for the low score; blame BYU.
Pros: “I love your shorts,” and “Hey, pass me a caffeinated Coke.”
Cons: “Oh, you only go to UVU? Sorry, I go to BYU.”
Weber State University: 7/10
Do you want to make lifelong friends in college and have a thriving campus life? Go somewhere other than Weber. Weber State is the ultimate commuter school. The chances of seeing anyone outside of class are slim to none, and slim just left town. That being said, Weber can get you a solid education on the cheap.
Pros: 2.5k Tuition
Cons: There are no parties Friday night.
Dixie State: 3/10
You made it to college. Your goals are set high and good grades are a must. Your devotion to study and stay on the straight and narrow is admirable. Too bad none of that matters, because Dixie State is nothing but skanky parties and cheap make outs. What started as a respected two year college has turned into a shameful mess of glitter and questionable liquids. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, because they body shottin’ off everyone out there.
Pros: The beauty of Saint George
Cons: Being too hungover to enjoy that beauty. And have you felt how hot it is outside?
WESTMINSTER: 7/10
Take an East Coast Ivy League school, and then drop it in Salt Lake City. That is what Westminster is. Westminster often goes unnoticed by the Utah populous because of its Liberal ways. Those protective mothers that went to BYU will NOT be having their children anywhere near those Liberal Heathens of Westminster.
Pros: Ivy League equivalent.
Cons: Tuition will put five generations of children into debt.
Stevens-Henager: 2/10
Do you know anyone that actually went there? Neither do I.
Pros: Their football team won the NCAA national championship back in ’07.
Cons: “Okay, but what IS Stevens-Henager?”
UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY: 11/10
Ah, Logan, where we call home. One walk on campus and you realize what love truly is. It has the perfect blend of various cultures, strong traditions, left/right wing thought, and everything that makes a place great. Life long friends are made at Utah State, and successful careers are started here. True Blue, through and through.
Pros: Everything!
Cons: Nothing!
Jason Tebbs
Blog Editor – Aggie Radio
