By: Kara Cula
Staff Writer – Aggie Radio
Look at you, Ms. College-Student. You’ve made it through all the high school dudes and are paving your way up to the (sort of) big leagues. While that should call for some celebration, you may have noticed that college men – although able to grow more facial hair – are a lot harder to read than the bros from your graduating class. These men have become the very definition of “modern sophistication” with the aide of their strict diet of Ramen Noodles and Taco Bell combined with their dedication to almost perfecting the art of quaffed hair.
Figuring them out, may seem like it’s impossible, but honey, believe you me it is only an obstacle. Concur this challenge and absorb the following tips, these are the ways to tell if that guy from Chemistry is diggin’ on you like you are some sort of buried treasure:
1) He’s hasn’t specifically said that he would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, date you.
Hey – maybe you’ve already gushed to your crush and it feels like it’s pretty apparent that he’s not into you. He has probably even stated that he’s not interested. Guess what though, Unless he used literally 6 “ever”s to tell you he’s not interested, he’s probably interested but too shy to say so. Anything less than 7 evers is still a go, anything more and you need to cool it and move on, (not his future) girlfriend.
2) He’s participated in many a dance battles to defend your honor.
As we all know, here at Utah State one’s “street cred” (demonstrated, of course, by dance battles) is basically everything. If he’s willing to put that reputation on the line just for your sake – he wants to marry you so fast he might as well of gone to BYU. (Good thing he didn’t though ‘cause then he wouldn’t have met you, sugar.)
3) You can count on more than one occasion him asking you how you are doing.
Here’s the thing with college men, none of them are decent human beings. This is an irrefutable fact. While that may seem like it’s a really sad thing, it also makes your life a little easier. Since they’re indecent, they’re only going to ask about things they care about. Which means, if he has said, “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” or maybe even the classic “Sup, girl?” more than once to you, he IS interested. You may have noticed, he’s also said this multiple times to all of your roommates, probably means he wants them too.
4) He’s used an emoji in a text message before.
No explanation needed. This is a universal thing we all are aware off. Am I right?
5) He’s followed you back on a social media websites.
This means that he is absolutely keeping tabs on you, figuring out whom you tweet at the most and what fellow competitors like your Instaselfies. Use this to your advantage and tweet at the best looking follower you have. (Second to him, of course.)
6) He turns to you for advice about other women.
While this may seem like you are in the “Friend Zone” and there is no escaping the grasp of the platonic trap you’ve fallen into, he’s seeking your advice because he trusts you but also wants to make you jealous. Men don’t like to express their true feelings blatantly. So when he asks you for advice with “Brittany” or “Becca” or how he should impress that pretty girl “Rachel” from his Political Science class, what he really means is “I love you so much and I want to be with you forever and I think we should lip embrace right now.” Read between the lines, girl, and go for that kiss right then and there.
7) He laughs at your jokes.
Let’s face it sweetheart, you’re not funny. Only a handful of ladies are, and I didn’t want to be the one to say so, but you are no Tina Fey. This means if he’s laughing at the “funny” things you’re saying, he’s doing it only out of his desire for you to love him. He wants you to feel like you are the world’s best comedian even though we face a sad reality where Kathy Griffith is literally funnier than you.
8) He doesn’t spend all of his time with you but he also doesn’t not spend time with you.
If you see him – even if it’s only every now and then, that means he likes you. Men will only spend time with people they don’t hate. That is transparent. If you guys have hung out at least once, maybe even only ½ time, he likes you.
9) He has asked you to leave him alone.
He may have asked you to stop talking to him, maybe he’s not even single. Perhaps he’s said that he doesn’t want to see you ever again. This is a classic test. You must do your part and prove your love to him by professing it again and again. Society may say differently, but what a man wants is a woman who is persistent and needy.
10) He has tried to set you up with his other friends.
This means he likes you so much that he can’t handle his feelings. Instead of dealing with them, like some sort of female, he’s pushing them away and onto one of his buddies. That way he can still keep tabs on you but also he doesn’t have to put his heart directly out on the line.
There you have it, the ways to tell if he’s interested in you. As we all know, every man is a carbon copy of the last so these tips can be directly applied to literally every single man in the world. Now with this new knowledge you can go out there and snatch up your man.
