There are some people you always see at the movies. The guy who can’t keep quiet, the girl on her cell phone, the couple who whisper to each other, you know the ones. So, to prepare you for this inevitability, here’s a list of the six people you’re bound to see at the movies.
1. The Boy Scout
This is the kid who comes in and takes a seat somewhere near the back and proceeds to unload candy, soda cans, a blanket—anything that could make the movie enjoyable, while still allowing them to be inconspicuous in their smuggling. The Boy Scout is prepared for anything that could get in the way of proper movie enjoyment.
2. The Sharer
This is that person who during the previews, laughs at every joke, who gasp loudly at every twist, who yells at the characters, and drives everyone else in the theater nuts. They wear their heart—and their mouth—on their sleeve, every time. We get that you’re enjoying this, but let us enjoy it too. Quietly, yeah?
3. The Statue
Unlike the Sharer, this person does. not. move. They sit rock still during the previews, they don’t smile much at the jokes, they keep to themselves, sitting back and enjoying the film. It can be a bit unnerving, seeing them just sit there, but at least they’re quiet.
4. The Muncher
This person chews popcorn like fireworks going off, slurps soda like they’re dehydrated and gets food everywhere when they laugh. They even manage to make gummy worms and licorice the loudest things. It’s impressive, if nothing else.
5. The Socialite
You know that glow that appears during the most random moments? It’s the person who doesn’t know how to survive two hours without social contact. They will die if they aren’t constantly checking their phone. Because so much happens in two hours.
6. The Senior Citizen
And finally, we have the old person. The one who sits in the handicapped area with the best view and still manages to be confused about what’s happening. Who constantly leans over to ask what just happened. Who complains about the loud music and bright lights at the end of it. The one who really should stay home, sometimes…
There you have it! The six people you’re bound to see at the movies. Pay close attention next time you go. You may be one of them.
